AR: ...I did take a banned substance, and for that I am very sorry and deeply regretful.
Me: Is he really sorry, or is he just sorry and 'deeply regretful' because this went public? Am I too cynical? Have multi-millionaire super-star athletes earned a healthy dose of cynicism?
AR: ...and although is was the culture back then in Major League Baseball overall...
Me: Please say that you still knew that what you were doing was wrong; that you knew you were cheating...
AR: (struggling to find the words; not looking at Gammons)
Me: C'mon, man. Please say you knew it was wrong, even back then. Is he tearing up? Again, are those tears sincere, or are you just upset that you got caught and because you hoped you would never need to do this interview?
AR: ...I'm just sorry. I'm sorry for that time. I'm sorry to my fans. I'm sorry to my fans in Texas.
Me: I still don't know if that apology is sincere. It's very likely that someone coached him; possibly his agent Scott Boras. It almost seems like he was about to say something from the heart as he was searching for words just now, but then it seems he went back to his talking points. He's sorry to everybody.
AR: ...It wasn't until then [in Texas] that I thought about a substance of any kind...
Me: That's because you were already the best. You didn't need it. If there was anyone that didn't need that junk it was you. Maybe that's why this sucks. As a baseball fan you thought that A-Rod, whether you liked him or not, was clean; a pure talent. Is it possible to be simultaneously naïve and cynical?
AR: ...and since then I've proved to myself and to everyone that I don't need any of that...
Me: No kidding? You proved to everyone that you didn't need any of that long before you signed your big deal with the Rangers. Why didn't you believe what was obvious to everyone else? By the way... For your sake, I really hope you're telling the truth that you haven't used anything suspicious since then. If you think this fallout is bad...
PG: What kind of substances were you taking?
AR: Peter, that's the thing... blah, blah, blah...
Me: Hmm. That seemed like a straightforward question that probably receives more of a direct answer.
AR: I'm guilty for a lot of things. I'm guilty for being negligent, naïve, not asking all the right questions...
Me: Like maybe, "Hey Bruno (names have been changed), what's the name of that banned substance you're injecting me with this time?" or how about, "So, are there any side effects I should be aware of? You know, besides hitting huge homeruns and signing huger contracts (wink-wink)?"
AR: To be quite honest...
Me: ...Uh huh...
AR: ...I don't know exactly what substance I was guilty of using.
Me: Not just a cheat, but a dumb cheat?
PG: Where did you originally get the substance?
Me: I wish "the substance" had a name.
AR: Again, at the time, you have nutritionists, you have doctors, you have trainers; that's the right question today: Where did you get it?
Me: Seems like a pretty good question for back then too. Maybe that is one of the 'right questions' you forgot to ask.
AR: ...Back then, it was just about what.
Me: What? Hold on. If it was just about 'what,' why do you seem to have no idea what it is you took. I'm starting to think that he knows exactly what he took, but because there might be more than just 'the substance' that was leaked by Sports Illustrated, and he's not sure what 'the substance' is, he doesn't want to add to it. Does that make sense, or am I just rambling? Here's an example: Say I sneak three Girl Scout cookies; one Thin Mint, one Samoa, and one Lemonade. My wife catches me and calls me out: "Did you sneak a cookie?" Now, I'm not sure if she knows that I sneaked one of each, so instead of admitting, "Yeah. I had one of each," (which would be completely truthful) I confess to having sneaked a cookie (which is the truth, but still deceitful).
AR: (After explaining that there are many substances that could trigger a positive test) ...I'm not sure exactly which substance I used [you mean, you were caught using], but whatever it is, I feel terribly about it.
Me: Is it just me, or does each apology seem less and less sincere? Besides, I know from experience, if you're not sure exactly what it is you're sorry about, you're not really very sorry.
PG: When did you get the wake up call?
Me: Uh...When guys started getting busted for that stuff?
AR: It wasn't til 2003. I was laying in my bed in Surprise, Arizona. We were doing a team conditioning down by the pool down in Arizona, and I suffered a very serious neck injury that went all the down to my spine. I missed about two and a half weeks of Spring Training. And I was afraid I was going to miss time... It was at that point in bed that I realized, "What am I doing?" Not only am I going to hurt my baseball career, but I'm going to hurt my post-career. It was time to grow up, stop being selfish, stop being stupid, and take control of whatever you're ingesting. And for that I couldn't feel more regret, and feel more sorry...
Me: See. It looks like he's about to tell us of his turning point, then goes back to I-was-coached-for-this-interview mode with more apologies. So, is he saying that he's sorry he was lying in bed and had this epiphany? That was a poor apology transition.
Also, did you catch any contradiction there? He says he worried about his career, and his post-career, and in the same breath, says it was time to stop being selfish. I'm just not buying the apology.
AR: ...'cause I have so much respect for this game...
Me: Really?
AR: ...and the people that follow us, and respect me...
Me: Your respect meter is on a down-slide right now.
AR: I have millions of fans out there that will never look at me the same.
Me: That's true. Is that what you're sorry about? That your image has been tarnished? That you've been brought down from Mount Olympus to commune with the other mortal athletes?
PG: Let's go back. How were you introduced to these substances? Was it at the gym? Was it from other players?
Me: Nice. Peter's rephrasing the "Where did you get it" question. Also, notice that he used the plural 'substances' in this question. He's no dummy. He might be a homer (Go Sox!), but not a dummy.
AR: (explaining that it was everywhere, and there was no monumental moment when he met Mr. Steroid) ...the point of the matter was that I started experimenting with things that today are not legal or today are not accepted, and today you would get in a lot of trouble for.
Me: That's true too. I believe there was a different culture in baseball at that time. And, as Sam Mellinger pointed out, it was a culture that we helped create. But that still doesn't abdicate his personal responsibility.
AR: (talking again about that time in bed at Spring Training)
Me: I do think that this type of a turning point happened in his life. Like I said, up until this week, we believed that he didn't need performance enhancing drugs. There had to come a point when he finally realized it too.
AR: I am sorry for my Texas years. I apologize to the fans of Texas...
Me: This again is one reason I think he's actually just sorry he got caught. Sure, you can argue that he let the fans down that believed he was other-worldly. But you're sorry for your Texas years? You averaged over 50 homeruns a season. You gave them something to cheer about in Arlington for those three seasons. Besides, I'm guessing you lost most of your Texas fans when you moved to New York.
AR: ...there's absolutely no excuse and I really feel bad about it.
Me: Coaching Tip #1: Say you're sorry and how terrible you feel as often as you can. If you don't know what to say, say you're sorry and you really feel bad about it.
...
AR: (talking about people who will likely try to discount his entire career because of this)
Me: Yeah. I'm pretty sure that is going to happen. It's a shame. I really do think that he's a tremendous player. It's impossible to quantify the effects of the substance or substances he took, especially because many pitchers were also juicing – one man's artificially enhanced best against another's.
AR: It feels good coming out and being completely honest...
Me: Makes you wish you had done it before someone tattled, huh?
AR: (confirms that he was clean as a 21 year-old phenom) ...100%...
Me: I hope so. America can forgive you for messing up. She has a harder time forgiving the cover up. But I believe him. There is a sparkle in his eyes when he talks about young, clean, amazing A-Rod. I bet he wishes he could go back and start fresh and never 'experiment' with stuff he doesn't even know what it is.
AR: (talking about the consistency of his career numbers)
Me: True. I'll take this guy's off-year statistics any day.
...
PG: How long was it before you found out that what you were doing was actually illegal?
AR: Again, at the time of that culture, there was no illegal or legal...
Me: That maybe true. But there was always right and wrong. Here's a guideline: If you're even worried about getting caught doing something, just don't do it.
AR: (still explaining about the culture of that time)
Me: I bet GNC loves all the press they're getting.
AR: (says that he didn't even know he had failed a test for sure until the SI reported told him recently)
Me: Seems like more evidence that he's just sorry he got caught.
AR: (talking about believing that what he'd experimented with in Texas)
Me: He must be an optimist.
AR: (in response to a question about a specific substance) First of all, I want to see these tests. I haven't seen these tests, in fairness to me.
Me: Totally. I think he has a right to see his own tests, especially before being grilled in front of a world-wide audience.
PG: (asks about his interview with Katie Couric when he denied having used steroids, human growth hormone, etc.) In your mind, that wasn't a lie?
Me: Peter, didn't you hear him say that he has no idea what he took? He was very naïve, remember?
AR: At the time Peter, I wasn't even being truthful with myself. How am I going to be truthful with Katie, or CBS?
Me: Translation: No, I lied.
AR: (talking about his Boy-Scout-like cleanliness and the number of tests he's taking since 2004)
Me: I really, really want him to be telling the truth here. I think he is. I think he has been clean in New York. I'm not laying down any bets, but I want to believe him. If he's telling the truth then he went through a steroid blip along with the rest of the league. If he's still lying, well...
AR: (talking about his Sports Illustrated stalker)
Me: I think I am cynical. This type of behavior to get a story (or even fabricate a story, I don't even know) is despicable. But not surprising. It's this kind of stuff that makes me glad I'm not a mega-super-star. On this issue, I really feel sorry for him and his family.
AR: (still talking about the reporter, and other reporters following her lead)
Me: You can tell he's angry about it. I would be upset with her too.
...
Wow. This is a really long interview. I'll call this the end of the post, and break down the second half later.
My impressions so far are that he was caught, and hoped that he never would be. I believe him when he says he turned the page and had moved on. But rather than face his past and own up to it, he hoped that it would stay hidden. Maybe if he forgot about the whole thing, everyone else would too. Unfortunately, that's not usually how things work.
Definitely a Yankee!
ReplyDelete